Football One Liners

Some individuals may take the football season very seriously, but sportsmanlike conduct is all about having fun with it as well. Yes, you could feel a little emotional when supporting your preferred team. In your family, Super Bowl Sunday can be seen as a full-fledged holiday. It is only a game, though, at the end of the day (albeit arguably the best one). Sharing our collection of football puns with your friends and family can make it much more enjoyable once you’ve allowed yourself to see the humorous side of this sport. Football one liners and puns are like the weather; they come and go. Arsenal is the target of jokes one week and Manchester United is the target the next.

Guidelines on Telling These Football One liners :

A) Consider adapting these football one liners and jokes to fit the major competitor of your preferred team.. Make the Minnesota Vikings or the Chicago Bears the punchline if you’re a Packers fan.

B) Verify that the people you are making jokes to are the appropriate ones. The joke can go flat if there are some people in the group who aren’t sports aficionados. Know your Aim Market.

C) Use the appropriate words. Both the setup and the conclusion must be flawless.

D) Have a fallback strategy. If one of your jokes doesn’t work, try again with a tried-and-true punchline.

E) Self-assurance is king. Your audience will have the ability to tell if you don’t find the joke humorous or are doubting yourself. Have faith in yourself. Bring strong material with you.

Keep in mind that execution/delivery is a key component. Recognize the value of a long pause, and confidently deliver the punchline! One aspect that always holds true is that humor and football go well together.

Football One Liners :

• Do you own an NFL jersey? I need your name and phone number

• You play football, I wager, because you are a goalkeeper.

• Is Arjen your name? Because of you, my heart is Robben.

• You are more gorgeous than the lovely game, I must say.

• I must be Ashley Young since I’m attracted to you.

• Hello, are you Vincent? Considering how much I need your Kompany.

• I would never shoot if you were a football. I would always miss you

• You’re hotter than Qatar’s hosting of the 2022 World Cup.

• It doesn’t Mata about the others – I am the Juan for you.

• I don’t play football but you are my goal. 

Some of the Best Football One Liners for fun are mentioned below:

1.Sold him (Lukaku) for £100m, loaned him back for £10m and gave him the number of millions they robbed Chelsea of

2. A club that nearly won the quadruple has acquired a striker worth $100 million, a club that won the Premier League has acquired Haaland, and Man United, who just missed the conference league, is scouting, enticing, and interested in the entire world. completed club 

3.Manchester United’s performance this transfer window: Elanga gym images. A new tattoo on Alejandro Garnacho. Fred’s trim was changed.

 4. Peter Odemwingie is pleading for his appointment as prime minister in the Downing Street parking lot. 

5. Seeing Arsenal supporters enjoying the game again makes me ill. 

6. David Neres “I once had a complaint from the Ajax manager over my hair, to which I replied, “Take care of your own hair, and I’ll take care of mine.” I was benched for the following two games by him.”

7.When Fulham get promoted, I swear if they get relegated again.

8.I demand that we create another league with just them and Norwich playing each other for eternity.

9.What do white women of Madrid love?
-BBC (Bale,Benzema,Cristiano)

10.What does Messi take before getting laid?
-Xavi & Iniesta (He can’t perform without them)

11.How are John Terry and Adolf Hitler the same?
-If it weren’t for a slip-up in Russia, they’d both be the conquerors of Europe.

12.David De Gea is so good, he can save your relationship.

13.Mesut Ozil has so much vision, he found a Chelsea fan before 2005.

14.Alexis Sanchez has so much energy, he powered Goku’s spirit bomb.

15.Diego Costa is so old, he told Jesus about Noah’s Ark.

16.Who is the luckiest Footballer in a pub?
-Ronaldo(He always scores)

17.Which footballer would women want the most?
-Sergio Busquets(He always goes down)

18.Calling your dog”matic” because you are sure that jose it the best.

19.Calling yourself Robben before an exam because you know you shall not pass.

20.What do you get if you cross a ball with Stewart Downing?
-A goal kick

21.”If you can’t beat them bite them”-Luis Suarez

22.How many Manchester United supporters does it take to change a heat lamp?
-Both of them

23.Di Maria walks into a bar. Bartender goes, “Why the long face?”

24.Once Mertesacker raced a tortoise & won. It is because the tortoise fell a sleep near the finishing line.

25.Which team will Dicaprio support in BPL?
-Chelsea because they have an Oscar.

26. Ronaldo rejected by every club and Chelsea club rejected by every player

27. How in this universe is Kante better than Vieira. Even if u stack 2 Kante on top of each other it would still be only 50 percent of Vieira.

28.Even Marcos Alonso’s parents gave up on him, his father did not even bother to change his name and named his Marcos Alonso

29.White Hart Lane more like Three Point Lane 

30.Manchester United have the most ‘United’ fanbase of all not rioting every other match day

31.Firstly there are privileged fans and then there are Real Madrid fans booing Cristiano Ronaldo.
The sole purpose of these trolls, football one liners, and jokes is amusement and fun.

They don’t intend to damage or disparage the reputation or feelings of any player, team, coach, club, nation, or anything else for that matter. The fantastic games and the amazing memories go side in hand.


The recollections transport you to a another era. You travel elsewhere with the memories. The memories often transport you home, which is the finest part. That is so because football and family go hand in hand.
Enjoy these football one liners with your loved ones because the Qatar World Cup 2022 is just around the corner.

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